Lessons Learnt

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
- Robert J. Hanlon

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

― Maya Angelou


I'm not perfect. Nobody* is. Everyone says mean things. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone points out others' faults. Everyone offends others. But someone with a true heart apologizes when they mean it and assume that others mean it, too. They forgive and forget. They don't assume the worst. When someone asks you, "When did I ever say that?" or "What did I say/do to you?", you don't have to answer. They are only doing that because they want to prove themselves. It never works. (refer to Maya Angelou's quote)

Not that I am not mean for no reason (everyone is), but why? Why are their mean people out there? Well, besides the fact that there has to be someone to compare good people to. I mean, if all of us were good, we wouldn't know what bad is. So I guess the world can't function without mean, cruel, cynical, and humiliating people. 

Sometimes I say things, spiteful things, without taking a moment to think, "Is this really the right thing to say? Is this really necessary?" and I dig myself into a hole impossible to climb out of. I destroy my reputation until I almost don't have one. 

Then I see and hear others and their spite. And I wonder if I really am a bad person after all. Then I see kindness. And I realize that I am far, far away from it. I feel like burrowing into a secret place, all alone, without anyone to insult me, to tell me my faults. I have made lists, many lists. About me, my negative traits. I have awoken and thought to myself about how selfish I am.

I admire the Buddhist religion. Not that I don't admire others, of course. But the thing about Buddhism is that its followers strive to free themselves from desire. This in my eyes, is a noble goal. Wait...but then they desire not to desire? Never mind. But I try to imagine that there is nothing that I want— social approval, education, warmth, food, to be loved, nothing. That's why I admire it so much. Because I can't do it. I just can't. 

What is there to gain from cruelty, spite, and degrading behavior?

* Nobody is perfect. I am Nobody. Therefore I am perfect.

Who are you going with? Oh, Nobody.

Who's the best at it? I'm pretty sure...Nobody.

I found the prospect of someone being named Nobody quite humorous. :-)